lisaescott264 Lisa E. Scott is a native of the Chicagoland area. She lives and works downtown as a human resources professional. View articles | Contact author

In my experience, a narcissist eventually becomes sarcastic and belittles you constantly.

You begin to feel you can do nothing right in his eyes and your presence is hardly tolerable. You’re baffled. You wonder what you did wrong to cause such a drastic change in his feelings toward you. You struggle desperately to return things to the way they were in the beginning.

Unfortunately, as hard as you try, things will never be the same again. This is because everything he did in the beginning was an act to secure your love and nothing more.

When a narcissist feels he is in control of you and is not threatened by any fear that you will ask for too much from him or leave the relationship, he will engage in escapist activity and appear as if he hardly notices you exist the majority of the time. You are merely present to stroke his ego and provide attention should he fail to get enough feedback from the outside world that day.

This is when we must remember we did nothing wrong. It's all about him. A narcissist will simply discard people when he no longer sees any value in them.

Keep in mind, this evaluation of his is totally subjective and not grounded in reality at all. These men are delusional and you mustn’t forget that. Suddenly because of boredom, a disagreement, an act or a failure to act, the narcissist swings from total idealization to complete devaluation.

He then disconnects from you immediately. He needs to preserve all of his energy in order to obtain and secure new sources supply and attention. He sees no need to spend any of his precious time on you, whom he now considers useless.

But please remember, he will repeat this same cycle with another women. It is inevitable. Be grateful this toxic abusive man is out of your life and never let him back in.

Narcissists cannot change. They are stuck in their own world where they are the center of the universe.

The good news is that by asking yourself these questions and being mindful of the red flags, you can save yourself from living in their toxic world. Life is too short to sacrifice yourself for someone who will never appreciate you and is incapable of loving you.

We all deserve real, genuine love and there are people out there capable of it. Learn to differentiate a narcissist from someone with healthy self-esteem. You owe it to yourself. We all do.


Listen to Lisa E. Scott where you can follow her on her weekly radio show – All About Him - building awareness on narcissism, offering advice on spotting a narcissist, and a support group call the Vain Forum, which is a message board and blog to help women get out of their narcissistic relationships that are holding them back.