I love change. I love how we grow as individuals, when we allow it. Evolving and thinking about things from a different level - a higher perspective - is an incredible thing.
I think about how my thoughts and opinions have changed over the years. My core principles and belief system are steadfast. But how the details play out within those parameters has gained some flexibility, understanding, acceptance and even some appreciation.
I realize that the biggest events in my life in the past decade have taught different lessons in acceptance and connections as humans. My principles and beliefs, when it comes to health, don't need to be black and white. In fact, they don't serve as well when they are so dogmatic.
My first experience with this major shift in thinking occurred when I was pregnant with our first child. After years of studying the healthiest ways to experience pregnancy and give birth, I had created a very clear list of desires for my own pregnancy and childbirth experience. No doctors or nurses, no hospital or birthing center, no drugs, no shots, no fear-based tests, procedures or medical check-ups performed throughout my pregnancy, no inducing, no interference to what is natural... period! (Unless, of course, there was an emergency.)
There were a few more items on my list, but you get the point! I had clearly decided what was going to create the healthiest, safest experience for my baby and me. Thankfully, both our children were born at home, with everything going as nature intended. We were blessed with our experience.
But, not long before my first birth, I attended the birth experience of a dear friend whose child birth "wish list" was very similar to mine. After hours of birthing, her midwife decided that it was the right decision to head to the hospital where my friend ended up having an emergency C-section.
At first, she was distraught. This is not how she had envisioned her perfect birth. After awhile, she realized that the pregnancy and birth were just steps to bring her toward motherhood, and that was the prize! My mind shifted, too. Within reason, no matter what we choose during our pregnancies or birth experiences - whether it's conventional pre-natal care and birth in an operating room, surrounded by medical personnel, or it's the quiet care of a midwife and a nurturing home birth experience - we all become moms. Each mom needs to feel safe and secure in order to have a positive experience.
Yes, there are limitations of matter. There are tests, procedures and mindsets that are statistically proven to be less safe and effective for the mother and baby. But, I don't believe any parent would intentionally make the less safe, less healthy choices if they were aware of all their options. We make the best choices we can with the information available to us at the time, within our personal belief system.
We need to be proactive with our learning and take responsibility to insure the healthiest, safest outcome. Again, the road may look different for each of us, but the destination is the same.
The next big life event that opened my eyes and shifted my thinking happened when my dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer 8 years ago. By walking that walk with him, I discovered that cancer, or any other diagnosis, isn't a one-sided thing. Although I knew what treatments were absolutely dangerous and had unproven effectiveness, as well as many approaches that could help him, my eyes were opened to the importance of really hearing a 'patient's' wishes and fears.
Dad ended up choosing a more holistic approach to restoring health and he has done very well overall. In the past couple of years, he has had several medical procedures and treatments that have made me silently cringe and question the sanity of the 'health' authorities-that-be. But I now have a complete understanding, acceptance and respect for each person doing what feels right for them.
He did his homework and he was aware of all his options. What more can you ask for? If the patient feels confident and certain when it comes to their treatment and care, I believe the positive effects are immeasurable. Not all healing looks the same. Sometimes it's hidden behind a prescription bottle!
One of the biggest lessons for me came with my mom's journey with breast cancer. I'm so proud of the grace with which my mom walked her walk during this experience. Our experience with the cancer industry was not positive. But my mom rose above it all. When initially diagnosed, she chose a combination of conventional allopathic treatment as well as more holistic approaches.
She was ridiculed for choosing anything other than allopathic treatment and was ostracized for not following the oncologist's exact recommendations. My mom simply chose to live a high quality of life as long as she could, rather than spend months in the cancer ward receiving endless chemotherapy and radiation. It's a choice. It was her life and HER choice.
She did well and thoroughly enjoyed her life and her family for another couple years before things got really difficult. My mom, more than anyone, knew my heart. She knew how passionately I believe in creating health rather than attacking the body or any symptoms present. It was challenging for her to accept the allopathic treatment approach of drugs and surgery, because creating health and addressing the cause had become part of her belief system as well.
In the end, we had to see things from a different perspective. Although she and my dad and I still held out for a miracle, we knew we were no longer looking for a cure from the drugs she was being prescribed. We had to make the enormous mental, emotional and spiritual transition to creating whatever quality of life was still possible. It wasn't black and white - right and wrong. It was about this one lady, this one family, this one experience... and what it was going to take to give her some comfort and peace for her remaining weeks.
There was no judgment. No regrets. There certainly was some wishing that this had never happened, but we were willing to look at things through different lenses now - from a different paradigm. If there was ever a time to mask the symptoms and cover up the pain, this was it. We weren't trying to fix the cause of the problem anymore. We just wanted to be with mom and she just wanted a little more time to enjoy with us.
I learned that, although I'm not a fan of the misleading information regarding supposed cures and successful treatments being passed along in the cancer industry, that I do support each person's right to choose the approach that gives them the greatest peace of mind. That's giving a person respect and dignity. That's part of healing and living.
Without the drugs, I don't think we would have had those last couple of weeks with mom. Although those were some absolutely brutal days, they were also laced with exquisite moments of love, joy and pure spirit. I don't know if it was the right decision to take the drugs. Only God knows. What I do know is that there are a lot of families that just want a little more time.
My mom's experience taught me that a whole lot of living can take place in a very short period of time. Some people live an exceptional quality of life for only a short time, while others trudge along for a lifetime with no joy, no gratitude and not much quality of life. In mom's dying she taught me how to live.
Most recently, we're back to my dad. A recent bout with some rather life altering arthritis left him with the decision whether or not to take prescription steroids. He had the same concerns I have regarding the inherent dangers of this treatment option. Ultimately, he chose to begin a short stint with steroids to see if he could decrease some pain, restore any mobility and improve his quality of life.
It has been remarkable to see how quickly and thoroughly he is improving, from a symptom stand point. I don't like the idea of steroids, but then again, I don't like the idea of arthritis existing in the first place! And I certainly don't like the idea of my dad being incapacitated in any way.
This most recent experience with dad has demonstrated once again that we will all get to our destination by taking different paths. Some are less eventful than others. Some are more dangerous than others. Some allow you to enjoy the scenery, even though they might be a shorter trip overall. And, there are times when the drive was going along beautifully without any challenges, when things came to an abrupt and sudden conclusion.
We don't know how long we'll be here. We may be diagnosed with something 'big' only to live for many years. Or, we might live a short time... but we can truly enjoy and appreciate that time. For others, there may never be any indication of a health problem, yet tragedy may strike. I think the point is to LIVE life!
If you've been proactively taking steps to create health and happiness with consistency over time, but you've reached a wall due to limitations of matter, then you have some choices to make. Sometimes, that temporary symptomatic approach might be the best approach in order to give your body - and mind and spirit - any true chance of re-creating optimal health and happiness. Who am I to judge?!
I certainly don't recommend this approach or this paradigm as a way of life - creating health through wise lifestyle choices still makes good sense and comes with no negative side effects. But I openly acknowledge that there are times when this allopathic approach might provide options that give the best shot at living life while you're here!
Dr. Colleen Trombley ("Dr Mom Online") is a leading expert in Natural Health & Wellness. Discover why the healthiest, busiest women turn to Dr. Mom for practical tips regarding healthy lifestyle, nutrition, fitness & exercise, diet & weight loss, raising healthy kids, effective stress management, and more. Request your FREE special report revealing Dr. Mom's personal formula for success, "The Wellness Formula" at
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