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Drug or alcohol addiction does not just affect the individual; it impacts the whole family. When it is recognized that a family member is addicted to drugs, alcohol or both, it is normal for families to feel guilty, to take responsibility for the addict's problems, and to blame themselves. They seek to take responsibility or lay blame. Unlike other medical issues, such as diabetes, relapse is seen as failure of the addict or of their support system.

It is important for families to recognize that feeling guilt and anger are normal and healthy. When families seek to lay blame, they look for reasons. However, addiction is not a reasoned behavior. It is complex and there are usually many reasons why one person becomes an addict when another does not. In families with more than one sibling with exactly the same upbringing, parents especially often wonder why one child becomes an addict and another does not.

It is important to realize that there are no set answers to why a person becomes an addict. Families first need to recognize three simple facts.
* They did not cause the addict's problems
* They cannot control the addiction
* They cannot cure the addict

Families often struggle at the beginning of an addict's recovery, learning that their behavior has enabled the addict. What they do out of love is often not in the best interest of the addict. They are, in fact, helping the addiction instead of helping the addict to recognize that they need to seek help.

Recovery for Parents
From a parents' perspective, having a child in recovery means learning new ways of dealing with that child. Rehabilitation for parents includes learning new ways of thinking, behaving and relating to their child.

It is important for parents to understand that addiction is a disease and the ways this disease can impact themselves, each other, their addicted child and the family. Steps that parents can take to help to develop coping skills are:
* Learn about the effects of the drug or alcohol on your child
* Develop techniques for parenting that child
* Seek support from other parents in similar situations
* Plan not just to support the addict but each other and other family members

Recovery with Siblings
Siblings are often the first to notice the problem that their brother or sister faces. They notice changes that are hidden from parents and this brings its own issues of guilt and responsibility. Whether they realize it or not, this often affects their own thoughts and behavior too. They learn to keep secrets, worry, and feel resentful or embarrassed. These are all normal when there is an addict in the family.

It is important for siblings to be included in the recovery and not kept "safe" by being left out or held away from the addict and his or her problems. Siblings need to:
* Understand that addiction is a disease
* Understand how it affects the family unit
* Find and understand their resilience
* Have the opportunity to seek support from their peers going through the same problems
* Learn how to give support to their brother or sister after treatment
* Learn how to care for their needs

For the Family-Once an Addict, Always an Addict
It is vital that families recognize that addiction is a chronic, progressive and incurable disease that can be fatal. It is also manageable with the right treatment. While it is vital for an addict to seek treatment, it is equally important for the whole family to learn about addiction. They must not just support their family member suffering from addiction but help each other and themselves through this family issue.

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